About a week ago, I had a riveting dream and wanted to tell you about it.
I was walking across this vast property, with a lake glistening behind an outdoor grotto, on an 80 degree, ‘buttery, baby-blue-sky kind-of-day', with poufy pillow clouds framing the streams of sun as they brushed my face. I'm sure you know the kind of day I'm describing.
The next thing that happens, I’m talking to a man, who looks a little like Gerald Ford, and this is the summarized version of what he said to me, “I’m the second richest man in the world and this is my property, I’m dying of cancer, and I have no idea how much time I have left.”
And as I say that, I look around at all of the staff who encircle us working and playing, people he's clearly taken good care of and even in this moment of our conversation, they regard him fondly, like he is truly beloved.
I have this sense that the man is grappling with what it will look like when he's gone, too (and not just where the money will go, but what will happen to the people who've cared about him).
I then wonder to myself, if it's really possible to be that rich and be loving, too. How do you drive that hard and still have a heart when it's all over?
In the next moment, he asks me what I do and I try to describe it to him, my lifelong quest to learn about myself and help others do the same.
But feeling so moved by what he's shared with me, I go beyond his question and offer a bit of advice, “You have this rare opportunity to really prepare for your transition. You can clean up your life, see what you’ve missed, understand what’s driven you, heal and do the transformation work you’ve probably never done.”
At this moment, he looks at me with a quizzical eye, while the people who reside on his estate are frolicking in the water behind him, splashing and laughing as if they’ve not a care in the world. It was a weird scene, him talking about dying and people who he shares live with - ‘living it up’.
What??? But it takes almost no time for me to set off in my dream thinking about how I could help him transition and what I’d want to give that much time and energy to what he needs.
I thought about how much time my current clients need, the caring for and seeding the Expedition Self Official Community, what it takes to maintain my radio show, where I would be 2 years from now, and how much time I needed for me in the middle of it all. Funny, right? I went to very practical, factual and current life realities as if it was just a simple business transaction I was contemplating.
Then I think to myself more seriously, “How would I actually do this? What would I prescribe if given carte blanche to really craft a process like this?” And I felt very excited. To think that someone would allow me that kind of free rein to shape their transformation, that kind of trust and belief in me was very inspiring and compelling. And at that moment, my heart came online. The intense feeling I felt for this man descended upon me and almost took my breath away.
Fueled by warmth, off my mind began to whirl... I could get him the custom drumming I love so much from The Strong Institute, I wonder who the most revered shaman in the world is right now, oh and I’d need to bring an aboriginal shaman in, too. It went on, gestalt work, acupuncture, Trager work, Enneagram study, Tai Chi, ecstatic dance, we could use the lake for swimming under water, psychodrama, would my favorite creativity teacher be available… I started to imagine crafting these potent experiences for him, knowing there was no limit on money, I could draw anyone to him. For some reason, I pictured I’d have at least 20 months with him to do all of these things. And then he would feel more content and complete when the moment came.
So then I said, “Okay, here’s how I think it could work. I’ll fly in on Thursdays, and be with you until Tuesday, once a month. In between you’ll be working with all the additional guides and teachers I put in place and we'll stay in touch via zoom. You’ll spend every single waking minute with me when I'm with you, even if that’s 20 hours a day. As long as you're healthy, we'll meet in various locations around the world to partake in the energy and rich, local culture. And then I got to the money part."
"Although at a deep, human level, I’d do this for no cost (and it felt right to let him know this), I just can’t do that in my life. It’ll cost $50K a month and if you die before I’ve made $500K, I still get that amount." (I couldn't believe these words were coming out of my mouth.)
"Oh and I’ll be there during your transition, you won't be alone, I'll be right there, holding your hand and loving you.”
I can’t imagine what you are thinking, right now, about my offer to him, but it's probably not much different than what I thought, "Are you kidding me, how can you profit from this man's loss?"
But as I calculated what toll this experience would take on my heart and what I’d have to put on hold, the entire program just seemed to make sense to me in the dream, and I was going to give him the gift of a lifetime, of me. The gift of becoming free to move beyond this life. And somewhere I knew I was going to be given the same gift, on so many levels. I would never think of myself in the same way after we walked this path together.
– I can still feel the tears well up inside as I write this, thinking of this shared ‘hope’ moment between us. Like I was exactly what he wanted and his death experience was exactly where I was supposed to be.
I saw my March calendar in my mind and showed him the dates I’d be there, it would’ve begun this Thursday.
How do I find these important healers? I’d need to make sure they were compassionate, truly gifted, and the right fit for him.
And I’d need to make sure I stayed really clear and clean, so I’d need to get my support team in place, emotional, physical, mental, because I knew I’d have so much coming up for me as I walked him through his inner world, I'd need constant help.
And somewhere in the back of my mind, as we walked away from the edge of the water, I secretly hoped he’d not just heal at a soul Self level, but at a physical one, too.
The thought in that moment that transformation work could produce that kind of inner alignment brought me into this wild sense of what’s really possible when the unconscious is freed up of the burden it carries.
And then I woke. I never got his name. Whoa!!! Intense dream. Breathe. Hold on to the visuals, the sensations, the feelings ... and then I began to break it apart.
As in all dream interpretation, one of the ways to really learn from a dream is to see every character as an aspect of ourselves.
And what do I need to help me in this? How am I valuing my time? And what’s the significance of 20 months?
How are death and life interrelated and how do we constrain them such that we limit what's possible for us?
Is there new life, new wisdom, and new depth awaiting all of us when we allow something to end or get complete?
How can we live with an intention to be PRESENT TO OURSELVES as if we it were the final cycle of our mortal lives? If you're interested in someone who is doing incredible work with this idea, check out his website here ... Check out Frank Ostaseski
And what would we give to ourselves, what experiences would we seek out?
When you have dreams, how do you see yourself in them? How do you make every character in the dream an aspect of you? I know it’s easy to think of dreams in terms of just your subconscious working out fears or unresolved issues.
But what if your dreams offer one of the most detailed, unvarnished insights into your transformational process?
To think I still feel the tears rise to the surface when I re-read my billionaire saying, "Yes, I want what you offer," tells me so much about where I find myself. It's time to give myself over, surrender, and agree to the future spread out in front of me. This dream came to me as a teacher, a prescient vision, encouragement to give in and let go.
I'd really like to hear about your dreams, what do you see in them for yourself? I’ll also share another dream in the Life on your Growing Edge group from years ago … you can share there, too.
Here's the link for Go to Life on your Growing Edge
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